42 - Anne-Marie and her mum Amazing Alice, How the loss of one way of life leads the way to new beginnings.

My world changed on Friday 26th February 2016.
​
My mum, Alice, was an incredibly active 88 year old, she lived independently and was always out and about-whether a quick dash to town for some shopping or a long walk with friends. She had recovered from losing her husband of more than 50 years (my dad) 15 years earlier and although she couldn’t drive it didn’t stop her from tripping off to Blackpool or Skipton for a day out on the bus.  

That fateful day Mum was due to go out for lunch with a friend who had been trying to contact her all morning to finalise arrangements.  My mum wasn’t answering the phone so her concerned friend telephoned me. I drove to Mum’s house and knew immediately something was wrong – she always locked her front gate with a padlock and unlocked it each morning for the postman.  The padlock was still on the gate so I knew mum was inside the house – but not answering the phone.

I let myself in and found my mum lying motionless on her living room floor. She was rushed to Royal Preston Hospital where they confirmed she’d had a massive stroke and the next 72 hours would be critical. I called my brother who was living in Florida at the time and suggested he get on an early flight home.  My other brother and me kept a constant vigil by her bed that weekend.

Miraculously mum did survive those 72 hours and by Monday they had her sitting out of bed in a chair! However, the stroke had caused catastrophic damage – mum was unable to walk, had lost use of her right arm and most frustratingly for her she couldn’t talk. We didn’t know whether mum could understand us or even recognised us. I had mixed emotions as I was so delighted that mum was still alive but I knew she would absolutely hate the fact that she would no longer be active Alice.

After 6 weeks in hospital at Preston and Chorley, mum was transferred to a care home in Fulwood. She spent 2 weeks in the care home where she developed an infection and died in the early hours of Friday 15th April 2016.

I was devastated but kept telling myself it was for the best, mum would not have wanted to live on like that, being reliable on other people for everything and unable to get out and about like she loved to.

Mum had a fantastic send off – she was a devoted Catholic , she went to mass most days and her friends and family filled the church and sang their hearts out to the hymns I knew mum loved.  It was  a very moving occasion and gave us all some comfort.

However, over the next few months I became quite depressed. Mum would pop up to my house most days to see her grandchildren or just have a brew so I felt her loss acutely. I was now an orphan and felt I’d somehow lost my purpose in life, my kids are growing up and didn’t need me as much as they used to and I didn’t have mum to worry about and care for, my job was unfulfilling and quite isolating. I went to a couple of bereavement counselling sessions which did help, it was good to talk to someone about how I was feeling and learn that it wasn’t unusual to react this way but I continued to feel very low.

A year or so later we completed the sale of mum’s house, the proceeds split between me & my 2 brothers. I decided I would use this money to change my life somehow, maybe a new job but what would I do?  It wasn’t a huge amount of money and I’d been in the same office based profession since leaving school 30years ago!

So I started with google -”businesses for sale in Preston”.  I spotted a mobile coffee van business for sale within my budget and it immediately interested me.  I can drive and I can make coffee so surely I can do this??

After a few months of research, due diligence and contract negotiations and with some additional financial support from my husband, Eric,  I took the plunge and signed up as a Cafe2u Franchise Partner for Preston.

My life has certainly changed and I absolutely love it.  I drive my coffee van around the office parks in Fulwood – serving delicious coffee to the workers together with maybe a croissant or a cookie, they can also grab hot or cold lunch from me if required. I’m out in all weathers and sometimes have to battle the traffic to ensure I get to the right office at the right time as people are relying on me for their brew.
​
After almost 12 months I now have a large number of regular customers, I know their names and their order, and I have a good laugh with lots of people every day. I also take my van to various events, usually sports events, where people are very grateful to have a hot drink to hand.  I also get lots of comments about my fantastic van - it’s so rewarding getting such great feedback from everyone. My children sometimes come along with me to help (in school holidays or at busy events), my husband is a constant supporter so it really is a family affair.

I know my mum would love this business.  She would have been very nervous at first that I was giving up a very good job to take the risk but would have been very supportive. I know she would have been on the phone every day….”how’s it gone today Anne-Marie, have you been busy? The weather has been awful. Did you sell many milkshakes today?  Did Richard or Antonia (my kids) enjoy helping you today?”  

So although I still miss my mum immensely and wish she was still here to see her grandchildren grow up, one at University and going to study in Italy for a year (Mum loved Italy), the other just left school and about to start an apprenticeship, I think about her every day and am so grateful for the opportunity she gave me to have a new lease of life.
​
Love you Mum.
Anne-Marie

http://cafe2u.com/uk/partners/preston-north-west

Follow us on Facebook:   
https://www.facebook.com/Cafe2U-UK-857013717813720/

The BeGlad Movement is aiming to collect 100 stories of good coming out of bad and reasons to be glad by the end of 2018 to help support each other with our experiences and to raise money for the Samaritans and Action for Happiness. If you would like to donate it would be so greatly appreciated. Thank you!

https://mydonate.bt.com/fundraisers/beglad