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The BeGlad Movement is a place to share your story
of good coming out of bad and reasons to be glad.
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If you are going through a tough time right now it is my greatest wish that this blog will help you in some small way.

Dave Lee - The Award Winning Cobbler Who Lost His Thumb

26/2/2019

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What can prepare you for losing your thumb in a tragic work accident then having 2-3 days to decide if you will let the surgical team either amputate the stump left or take your big toe and graft it onto what's left of your thumb? It's quiet a story but I have to share what shaped my life before this accident.

Before I get stuck into my working life, out of work I have had my problems, family life was tough, at a young age I was taking drugs due to my parents having death threats, I could not deal with it so my escape was drugs.  

I met someone, who is now my ex but I came off drugs and changed my life. My path in life has been a tough one especially what I went through over the last 8-9 years.
 
In 2017-18 I entered the ‘world cup’ of shoe repairs. This competition brings together the very best in my industry from around the world to compete to become world champion. This was only the second competition I’ve ever entered and the first time I had entered this one, and I was lucky enough in claiming bronze prize/position. This is the highest accolade I’ve ever got in my working career. This high was sandwiched by low points in my life one of which was easy to deal with the other almost broke me. The one that almost broke me was before I became a UK and the world award winning cobbler.
 
I guess sitting here now looking back; it all began to go bad between 2012 and 2016. Things were not great before that but at least I had other staff in the shop with me. Late in 2012 Mark had had enough of the working conditions so he walked out. How I wish I could’ve done that too but I had a house and bills to pay for on my own, coupled with the fact I loved what I did, just not where I did it, or who I did it for.
 
In the eight and a half years I worked for this shop I went from being a strong minded person to feeling completely worthless. The day things got really bad was Easter 2016. My boss was going away for a few days. At the end of my working day, before I went home, he rang and was not happy because he wanted the shop to of taken more money. He made it clear without saying the words, it was my fault we had a quiet day. I could feel inside a was cracking, I felt trapped with no way out. The only way I could see out was death. This may seem a small trigger but these were the small mind games that had been going on for the last 4 years. I felt like a slave and I had had enough of it. Only one thing stopped me taking my life and that was my faith in Jesus. Even though I was now at the lowest I had been since 2008 I had a thread on faith. I was holding onto thoughts of just packing my bags and walking away, thoughts of taking my own life, but I could do neither so I was stuck. Trapped with what seemed like no way out. How much more could I take I don't know.
 
I was looking at finding a place to open my own shop and was told of a place someone was closing down but this guy had changed his mind so again I felt lost and trapped.  In October 2016 I claimed an award in the UK shoe repair competition. This gave me a little lift, I was not worthless. I decided I was going to leave this shop in 2017 for good, so now I just needed to find the right place to go to. In the meantime I had entered the World Cup of Shoe Repairs and had a phone call from the USA that I was an award winner, my boss was told about it, and to my face he was happy but he was telling others that I would be ok once I came back down to earth and was living in the real world again.
 
My love of doing leather shoe repairs (this is replacing the whole bottom of a shoe and rebuilding it) was being seen across the town and more and more customers  were coming to the shop because of the high level of my work. When I started working at this shop we were doing 2 to 3 pairs a month on average, I built this up to 10 to 12 pairs a month. I put my all into my work and it didn't mean anything, I was just a number to my boss. He made me feel like his life and what he wanted to do was more important than my life. He would give me a few days notice to change my day off and expect me to drop everything but when I needed time off or booked an holiday I always had to have my time off when it suited him. It was also frowned upon if I locked the shop for lunch. I was expected to not close for lunch I was even working two and a half hours a week and not being paid for it, the list could go on.
 
In all my time working there I was made to feel trapped, worthless, useless, undervalued my self esteem had all but gone and if not for the awards I may of still been stuck there.  Over the course of my time being stuck in this environment I had also put on LOTS of weight and I found myself comfort eating because of the situation. I went up to about 18 stone, I had no energy and everything felt an effort. So how did I come out of it?
 
In April 2017 I found a shop for let. It was not in the best position, but it was a way out. I went to view this place and decided I would put an offer in later in the year as I knew I had to go to America to claim my award in July. When I got back the shop was still available! On the 6th July I signed for the shop and began plans of setting up my own business. At this time it was the escape I needed, little did I know that it would cause me lots of stress. I was on top of the world I had just come back from the USA, I had my Bronze award and I was leaving the shop that caused me to feel so bad. Things were looking great.
 
As the months went by I started to take in more shoe repairs but quickly found I was not doing close to enough sales on things like polish, laces, shoe sprays or keys, these are the add on sales you need in my trade to keep your business alive.  I was also having problems with my landlord who would not split the electric in the shop from the flat upstairs and the business needed to either sell more or close. I was lucky enough to move which was a massive weight off my shoulders.

1 month and 2 weeks into moving to my new location, on Wed Jan 9th 2019, I was trimming a heel on a ladies shoe while wearing a jumper, in a split second the machine had grabbed my jumper and pulled me into the machine. I knew right away I was hurt bad, I just didn't know how bad it was. I shouted to someone in the indoor market to call for an ambulance then I started to un-wrap my jumper from the machine. While doing this my thumb dropped onto the shop floor. I took off my jumper wrapped it around my hand and applied pressure and then asked the people in the centre again, this time saying ‘Will you just call a bloody ambulance!’ as they were all in panic. It may sound funny but I was now turning off all the machines in the shop and getting my stuff together in my bag. At no point did I feel pain which again was strange but I guess the adrenaline was pumping at this point. I was taken to my local hospital but then was rushed to Derby which is renowned for having the best hand surgical team in the country.
 
I was told I was being kept in which I didn't like because again, I felt ok, no pain etc. They could not save my thumb as to much damage had been done to my hand. They wanted me in theatre the next day to clean the wound and access the options I had.
 
The next day around 5pm they took me to theatre and had a better look. The day after I was told what my options were. It was now Friday and I had today, Saturday and Sunday to decide what i was going to do. They went through the options with me, the best option which would give me full use of my hand and thumb again was to remove my toe and transplant it on to what was left of my thumb. This is the option I decided to take as I still wanted to do my job and keep my business going.  
 
Why was I handing this so well? Why was I still not feeling any pain? Even after the operation, no pain… some dull aches at times but for what I’ve been through I would expect to feel a lot of pain. I should feel broken or crushed but I feel amazing. Yes I know I’m less able bodies at present but that will go, and I will gain use of this hand and thumb again but I do really feel good, so why?
 
I have been through a lot in my life, being bullied at a young age, being rejected by others, losing my house after a split up with my ex, being told I would never amount to anything in life by a college teacher, being treated like a slave, going through depression (even if I didn't know I was at the time) all these things have shaped who I am and how I deal with things.
 
In life we all get knocked down some more than others it's how we deal with it that matters. I hang onto my faith this keep me going even when I’ve been at my lowest, if you have faith or not just search for that inner strength no matter how low we all get there is that inner strength in all of us willing us to get up and fight another round to keep going. I’ve found that when I’ve come through a challenging time in life and look back I see the situation was not as bad as I thought it was at the time. We always look at the thing in front of us and think this is too big but it’s not and never is. I believe we only ever go through thing in life that we can cope with, at the time it seems we can't but when you come through the other side you see it was in fact not that bad.
 
I may of lost a thumb and then a toe to replace it but I won't let this get me down again it may  sound strange but I feel what I’ve been through in life to this point has been far worse than this. Others may read this and think otherwise but in the eight and a half years of working at that other shop, I got to a stage where I was ready to take my life. This injury has just given me a reason to fight and come back stronger and better at my job than I was before.
 
So the question what can prepare you for losing your thumb? I guess that depends on you and your outlook on life. I see this as just another fence in life to climb over and I love to overcome things it's in my DNA.  Nothing can really prepare you for losing a limb weather a leg, arm or just a finger or thumb or toe it's about looking at the bigger picture and thinking this could of been much worse, I could of bled out, I could of lost my whole hand. This is thinking to the extreme but could of happened so I thank God it's only my thumb and through it I am only 1 toe short and can continue to do the job I love
 
With this injury at no point have I felt pain, I can only thank those who have prayed for me during this time and thank God as I believe he has dulled the pain in my hand and foot. I have had a great network of friends and family too that I have to be grateful for as they have all supported me through this time. It’s now 5 weeks since the accident and 4 weeks since I was released from hospital and I’m up and out and about. I’m being as active as I’m allowed at present and feel great for it.   
 
My story  is not one for feeling sorry for me it’s a story to show we’re all stronger than we know and we can get anything life throws at us, and trust me if I can you all can. Never stop fighting and if your knocked down get back up and fight harder.  I can't say life will ever be perfect for me or you but I can tell you I’m a fighter and will always keep swinging no matter what life throw at me will you? I hope so you’re stronger than you think!!!

Follow Dave on twitter @davecobblerlee
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The BeGlad Movement is aiming to collect 100 stories of good coming out of bad and reasons to be glad by the end of 2018 to help support each other with our experiences and to raise money for the Samaritans and Action for Happiness. If you would like to donate it would be so greatly appreciated. Thank you!

https://mydonate.bt.com/fundraisers/beglad
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