 Very honored and humbled to have been approached by The Ripple Pond which is a network of self help support groups for the family members of physically and emotionally injured service personnel and veterans. The Ripple Pond was set up by two mothers of seriously wounded service men who recognised that no similar service existed purely for adult family members, and who found strength and comfort by sharing and supporting each other through such a unique challenge.
The BeGlad Movement was asked to participate in the 5x5 news bulletin that goes out to The Ripple Pond Members. 5x5 is a series of five questions and then five answers. We really hope that playing the Glad Game may be able to help some of the members find a little extra gladness in each day when times get tough. Below are the questions and answers that we gave. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Polly set up BeGlad ‘to bring you as many stories as possible of good coming out of bad and reasons to Be Glad. The fact of the matter is that bad things happen, life is not fair and we can’t be happy all the time. However, if you practice stopping any negatives before they spiral out of control by looking for positives you are usually half way to feeling better.’ We asked Pollyanna what inspired her and how this can empower you too. 1. What inspired you to set up the BeGlad movement? I wanted to help people focus on the positives in their life and not the negatives. We get what we focus on. My mum named me after the film Pollyanna because the little girl in the film plays the glad game, where she chooses not to dwell on bad things but to find a reason to be glad instead. Every time anything went wrong in my life my mum would say ‘now come on Polly, play the glad game’ and I would have to list off everything I was grateful for and lucky to have. It stopped me from getting trapped in a negative downward spiral. 2. Do you find people revert back to old habits of negative introspection too often? I think it is only natural to do this, little things will trigger us and I am certainly not exempt! It’s important to acknowledge when you are feeling low, I don’t advocate pretending everything is OK. Talking helps to get things straight in your head. I am a listening volunteer for the Samaritans too. When you find yourself thinking negative thoughts you have to get into the habit of stopping yourself, literally saying to yourself ‘right, stop Polly, stop stop stop! What is going on here?’ asking yourself what has triggered it, look for the message or positive actions you can take and then at the very least list off some things you are really lucky to have in your life. It takes practice, like going to the gym, you have to exercise your gratitude muscles to really get them firing on all cylinders and pumped up! 3. What are your suggestions for daily reminders to BeGlad? I know a lot of people scoff at this but if you have never been taught to be grateful the way I was, and it doesn’t come naturally then try keeping a gratitude journal. I challenge you to do it consecutively for 30 days and tell me you don’t feel better. List three things that happened that day you are glad of. It could be as simple as finding five minutes to drink a whole cup of coffee in peace. Also, list three things you did for others, and again, this could be something as small as smiling at an elderly person or sending a text message to a friend. If you didn’t manage any good turns then it certainly makes you try harder the next day, there is a lot of joy in doing things for others. Feel free to choose the time of day you do this too. If you are too tired in the evening do it in the morning, it’ll set you off on the right foot for the day. In fact, why not take five minutes before you get out of bed to simply set your intention for the day? 4. How do you think BeGlad could work within the military family environment? It’s hard being away from friends and family for both personnel and their spouses and children. It’s only natural to feel sad when you have to do without something that you have become accustomed to. It’s only natural for feelings of resentment, anger, grief etc to bubble up. Firstly remember you are made of tough stuff, congratulate yourself, you are doing so well, be kind to yourself and others. You have so much to live for, life really IS short, don’t waste your days feeling sad. Your feelings are exactly that – YOUR feelings, you can choose how you react to any given situation. Keep a journal as a family, in the evenings while you are having your dinner take it in turns to say what you are glad about. You could write it in a family diary or on a piece of paper and pop it in a jar. That way you could empty it out each New Year (or quarterly if you can’t wait!) and reflect and feel good about how far you have come. 5. Do you think BeGlad helps empower you, if so, how? Yes definitely! If you practice every day to look for positive things it will lift your mood and have a snowball effect. Like I said before, your feelings are YOUR feelings, they are the way you have chosen to react to a situation and you can choose to change them too. It won’t always happen overnight, just like one salad won’t make you thin but give it time and perseverance and you will see the results. I’ve been so lucky to meet some really inspiring people already and I’m in talks with more, I love that they want to share their stories to help motivate and encourage others. It fills me with positive energy and I hope that by following the BeGlad Movement the positivity will have a ripple effect – sorry to pinch your pun there!! If you or a loved one could use some support from The Ripple Pond then they can be found in the following ways www.theripplepond.org The BeGlad project is aiming to collect 100 stories of good coming out of bad and reasons to be glad by the end of 2018 to help support each other with our experiences and to raise money for the Samaritans and Action for Happiness. If you would like to donate it would be so greatly appreciated. Thank you! https://mydonate.bt.com/fundraisers/beglad
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Nikki found herself suffering from Fibromyalgia, ME, Depression and Anxiety. Watch her full story.
If you would like to reach out to Nikki and learn more about the lightening process then please do so using the links below. www.beu.org.uk Instagram - @Emertonnikki Twitter - @Nikkiemerton The BeGlad project is aiming to collect 100 stories of good coming out of bad and reasons to be glad by the end of 2018 to help support each other with our experiences and to raise money for the Samaritans and Action for Happiness. If you would like to donate it would be so greatly appreciated. Thank you! https://mydonate.bt.com/fundraisers/beglad  I’m glad to be free.
I spent 10 years married to what I now know to be a narcissist. A man who I had no escape from for fear, and the very real threat, that he would take my child and I would never see her again. This man stole my youth, confidence and hope. I spent too long waiting for the time when my child would go to university and become an adult, this was my only hope. Waiting for a day where I could finally know she couldn’t be taken would be the day I left. I wouldn’t wish this on anyone but he got cancer, I’m not glad about that by any means and I’ll explain more below. Although I tried my best to look after him and care for him as best I could, he was after all the father of my child, my little girls daddy. Unfortunately he became increasingly more volatile and hateful. Screaming at me on a daily basis I had to sleep with the door barricaded through fear that he would take me and my girl in our sleep to the grave with him. His spite and hate and desire to lash out and hurt others resulted in him throwing us out and his family ransacking our home for anything they could take. I had no choice but to start to rebuild a life from nothing with my child and with the help and support of my loving family and friends. He passed shortly after. I threw myself into creating a warm and loving home for my daughter and I and eventually from the darkness came light. I took my daughter travelling to show her what beauty there was in the world. With help from my family I have also set up my own business to enable me to spend more time with her. So here is my message. I am glad for the hardships we have been through because it has made us stronger. I’m glad for the hate that was shown to us because it has made me love harder. I’m glad for the fear I felt because it made me fear less. I’m glad for the losses of material possessions because it freed me from the want of anything material. Memories are the only things I cherish now. I’m glad to be alive because I get to wake up to a new day full of hope and excitement. I’m glad to have a second chance at life. I’m glad to be single. Yes believe it or not I am! I’m glad that I’m not living a lie or a miss truth. The last couple of years have shown me that although social media can portray a happy home life, something that we all aspire too....what I do know is that can be a lie or blinkered perception. What looks perfect to the outside world can really be a web of lies and deceit with cheating spouses, living an unhappy reality and loveless unions. I’m glad to be free to do what I want when I want. I’m glad not to have to settle for substandard unions because I feel trapped. I’m glad to not live a lie. I’m glad to finally have my eyes open! The BeGlad project is aiming to collect 100 stories of good coming out of bad and reasons to be glad by the end of 2018 to help support each other with our experiences and to raise money for the Samaritans and Action for Happiness. If you would like to donate it would be so greatly appreciated. Thank you! https://mydonate.bt.com/fundraisers/beglad
He quit the drugs and so began a long and difficult few years. It’s been a journey of self-discovery, learning and healing, incredibly tough but life changing, with moments where Ross barely recognised himself. Ross says ‘I have an understanding now that this was what I was here to learn and now I can share my learning with others.’
This was the first time I have ever conducted an interview and I was nervous. My phone kept cutting out during my conversation with Ross so apologies for the obvious stitching together of the footage! He was a true gentleman about it all though and thoroughly professional throughout. In this interview Ross explains how his army career ended (through his own choosing) and then unfortunately depression and helplessness ensued. He explains how he felt beaten, like he had failed, how the voices in his head and the self talk were torturous and he no longer recognised himself having handed in his identity badge and the rest of the kit that had been such a big part of his life for so long at the camp gates. Looking back, he describes himself at that time as ‘the familiar stranger in the mirror.’ After beating himself up for a long time with all the usual machismo, just get on with it, man up type advice that wasn’t working Ross discovered that the answer was to do what he actually wanted to do least – to go on an inner journey of self discovery, asking himself some tough questions he decided that with a choice of sink or swim, when considering his wife and children, he had to swim. Having found some self help books in the library he went on a voyage of self discovery which would with time and a lot of effort bring him to self acceptance. Having been on a meditation retreat to help him reach his true inner self Ross came across his turning point. He began to learn to accept the thoughts he’d been suppressing all those years and open himself up to new experiences. An acquaintance suggested he would make a good mentor which led Ross to become a business mentor with Dorset business mentors. One of his first clients presented for the first time as a stressed business man in a stiff pinstripe suit. After three sessions with Ross he was arriving to meetings as a much looser and happier individual. I wondered if Ross recognised the pinstripe suit as another kind of uniform because of his own experiences of being in a different type of uniform for so long. Through this work Ross realised how much he loved working with people and that he had a natural talent for helping people go on their own inner journeys to discover their true selves too. The fact that Ross has been there makes his empathy and ability to see past the exterior truly exceptional. He really is a first class coach and mentor. The point that really hit home for me during this interview was when Ross said, ‘Your shadow side is often where your power lies,’ and I feel this is a powerful message to everyone going through a tough time, keep going, you never know what good will come out of the bad once you’ve been through it. The rest is history and from there Ross has gone on to build a successful business mentoring and coaching business. He runs Salisbury Coaching Circle and has recently joined forces with some other exceptional coaches to form the Cancer Coaching Community. Supporting friends, family, sufferers and survivors of cancer. If you would like to reach out to Ross you can find him here www.transitiontransformers.co.uk The BeGlad project is aiming to collect 100 stories of good coming out of bad and reasons to be glad by the end of 2018 to help support each other with our experiences and to raise money for the Samaritans and Action for Happiness. If you would like to donate it would be so greatly appreciated. Thank you! https://mydonate.bt.com/fundraisers/beglad  From Liz B
In 2011 I married my husband, Steve. He was a captain based with 26 Regiment Royal Artillery, in Gutersloh, Germany. I remember the times before we were married weighing up the pro’s and con’s of me moving out there to Germany or staying in Sutton Coldfield. I decided to go for it and six weeks after we were married I arrived in Germany. I cried the entire way there. The other people on the flight must have wondered what was wrong with me. I was so sad to be leaving my family behind, and leaving my dream job and team with only uncertainty ahead. To compound these feelings of loss and insecurity, Steve was late picking me up from the airport. Within the first week I had discovered I would be unable to work as a Physiotherapist in Germany, the second week Steve left for an exercise in the UK, and 10 weeks after that, he left for a seven month tour in Afghanistan. I felt so alone and so anxious about his safety. The day he left, I was introduced to Aimee and her 12 week old daughter, Grace. We drank rather a lot of gin that night, and from the hangover that followed, a friendship blossomed. We literally spent every single day together from then on, supporting each other, laughing together, crying together, seeing Grace grow and develop. Those were precious times and so from the initial worries and upset I had moving to Germany, I will forever be grateful and glad because I found my best friend there. We are still best friends and now godparents to each other’s children. The BeGlad project is aiming to collect 100 stories of good coming out of bad and reasons to be glad by the end of 2018 to help support each other with our experiences and to raise money for the Samaritans and Action for Happiness. If you would like to donate it would be so greatly appreciated. Thank you! https://mydonate.bt.com/fundraisers/beglad  April 2013 I discovered I was pregnant with my partner of 5 years. It was a much needed positive after battling and overcoming depression in previous years. Though we were still young at 21/22, my partner and I were excited to be parents. 3 days before my first scan (estimated 13 weeks) I began to bleed, understandably scared and well aware of statistics, I visited my GP who arranged a scan at the nearest EPU (Early Pregnancy Unit) The silence in the room was deafening - no wooshing of our little baby's heartbeat. We were taken to a small room where a consultant came to tell us that I had had a Complete Molar Pregnancy. Molar pregnancies affect around 1,500 women in the UK each year. After conception, the fertilised cell immediately develops an abnormality, the result of an imbalance in the number of chromosomes supplied from the mother and the father. It is characterised by a mass of cells that can grow as cysts with the appearance of white grapes. These cells can grow quickly, produce hCG and thus give a positive pregnancy test, but are unable to form a proper embryo. The majority of molar pregnancies are diagnosed relatively early and are treated by D&C. In a small number of cases, the cells can become cancerous and patients may need chemotherapy. The day I should have been having my scan was the day I had my D&C, I left the hospital in the afternoon feeling weak. And then the testing for cancer began. I had to travel to the Women and Children's hospital weekly to give blood and urine samples (silver lining number one - I would never ever drive in the city until this point) I also had to have fortnightly urine samples sent off to one of the national screening centres (Weston Park). This testing can go on for months, and women are advised not to get pregnant for at least 6 months afterwards, though the chances of it happening again are low. December 2013 I received the all clear that my hCG levels had consistently remained at a normal level. I felt that I knew my triggers for depression and needed to channel some emotion into something positive so in May 2014 I completed a skydive to raise money for the research of molar pregnancies. It was on my descent that I saw a large white banner saying "Marry me?" (Silver lining number 2 - getting engaged in arguably one of the coolest ways ever). Fast forward to the present day, I am happily married with a 1 year old, and even though I will always wonder what would have been, I look to the stars and know that this is the way it was meant to be. Lucy H. Lucy asked for a picture of a dragonfly to go with her story. The dragonfly story below was shared with Lucy when her niece was stillborn at 41 weeks so we are sharing it again to hopefully help any of you in a similar situation. The Story of the Dragonfly There once was a group of little water bugs that lived happily at the bottom of a pond. They scurried about on the mud and went about their daily business quite contentedly. Every now and again one of the water bugs would climb up a water lily stem out of the pond, never to return. This made the other water bugs sad that their friends kept going missing so they got together and made a pact that whoever climbed up out of the water next should come back and tell the others why and what happened when they got up there. The next day one of the water bugs began climbing the stem. When she got to the top she was tired out and fell asleep on a leaf, the warm sunshine dried her off as she slept. When she woke she was amazed to discover that she had grown four silvery wings, she was able to soar high into the sky and zoom over the surface of the pond. She spent some time darting about on her new wings with such joy. When she came to rest on a lily pad she remembered her promise to her water bug friends who were still down below the ponds surface. Excited to tell them all about her new experiences she got up to head back into the water however; when she tried to descend she just bounced off of the surface of the pond. She looked at her reflection and sighed, ‘I can’t go back and keep my promise. I guess that is why no one else came back to tell us what happens when you leave the pond. Even if I could go back no one would recognise me now. I guess I will just have to wait until they turn into dragonflies too, then they will understand what has happened to me.’ |
BeGlad VideosThis is where we will post the videos you send in explaining what you are glad about Archives
March 2019
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