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The BeGlad Movement is a place to share your story
of good coming out of bad and reasons to be glad.
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If you are going through a tough time right now it is my greatest wish that this blog will help you in some small way.

32 - Laura B. When your partner has to have his foot and ankle amputated it has consequences for the whole family

31/7/2018

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 About 9 years ago Laura’s partner rolled his ankle in a simple bleep test as part of his military career. Little did they know at the time that what seemed like a simple injury on the surface would result in CRPS, chronic regional pain symptoms and then ultimately in their asking for the foot and ankle to be take away via amputation. 
Watch Laura’s story to hear the highs and lows of becoming an amputee and being the primary carer for an amputee. How the surgery has led them to places they never thought about going before such as Buckingham Palace, the very first Invictus Games as well as her partner becoming the worlds second strongest 'disabled strongman.Hear about the physical, phantom and psychological pain as well as how they have pushed through this as a family and become stronger than ever together, literally. 

Such an inspiring story. Follow Laura here 

http://bit.ly/LauraBfitnessCoachInstagram

http://bit.ly/LauraBFitnessCoachFacebook

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The BeGlad Movement is aiming to collect 100 stories of good coming out of bad and reasons to be glad by the end of 2018 to help support each other with our experiences and to raise money for the Samaritans and Action for Happiness. If you would like to donate it would be so greatly appreciated. Thank you!
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https://mydonate.bt.com/fundraisers/beglad
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31 - Anna Storer. How she survived domestic abuse and is now using her experiences to help others through raising awareness and her new business venture selling gifts that support self love.

28/7/2018

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I am so grateful to Anna for sharing her story, it must have been really painful to re-explore all these experiences and capture them for us.

Anna sent her story in and at the end she said ‘Apologies it is so long winded I wanted to capture each moment and try to explain how abuse works, the warnings signs and that help is out there.’

​No apologies needed!! 
Anna’s Story
 
Our Story is one of struggles, survival and success and I am so blessed for the opportunity to be able to share this with you. If we can inspire one family it's all worthwhile...
 
I'm Anna (31) single mummy to two beautiful daughters ages 13 and 8 years. Life has been kind of eventful for me, not without its many challenges along the way. 
 
When I was 17 I was sexually abused by my boss, I didn't tell anyone for years I was ashamed and felt I was to blame. I wrote a letter to explain I wouldn't be returning to work and I made up some excuse to my mum and left. I couldn’t bring myself to tell my mum as she had been at school with him. 
 
Later I fell pregnant with my first baby (I had been in the relationship 3 years), I was thrilled to bits and so excited to become a mummy for the first time. I am one of six children so I am used to being around others and I always had that strong maternal instinct. Unfortunately at 8 weeks I began spotting and found out I had lost my baby. I had a rough time with the miscarriage I was in a lot of pain and losing so much blood I was rushed into hospital.
 
At 18 I fell pregnant again and at 19 my first daughter was born happy and healthy at home. Although I haemorrhaged and was rushed into hospital for a blood transfusion.
 
When my baby girl was three months old I lost my big brother Dom in a horrific car accident, he was 20 at the time. We never got to say goodbye as the car he was travelling blew up into a ball of flames, meaning he was identified by his teeth. I sunk into a deep depression and disbelief. Cradling my baby in my arms I would stand for hours on my mum's drive way waiting for him to come home. Convincing myself they had somehow got it wrong. 
 
I later went on to miscarriage again this time finding out at my 12 week scan that my baby had died at 8 weeks old. I was broken all over again. My relationship with my partner eventually broke down and we went our separate ways. We had been together 7 years from 14 to 21 and I think we had just grown apart.
 
I actually loved being a single mummy and embraced it being the two of us. I was able to dedicate all my time to my daughter and she flew through nursery and school always above target. I loved the independence of renting my own home and decorating it myself choosing my own furniture and raising my daughter.
 
Time went on and I began to venture out more on the weekend when my daughter would see her dad. I'd already become friends with an older bloke from the village and soon we became more than friends. I fell head over heels in love with this man 10 years older than me who had me believe he was an amazing family man. I fell hook line and sinker for every little lie he ever told me! He wanted a baby and I wanted to keep him happy so I soon fell pregnant with our daughter (now 8). I thought it would be one of the happiest moments of my life when that positive result came back on the pregnancy test. I couldn't wait to tell him he was going to be a daddy! But the reaction I truly believed I'd get was far from what actually happened...
 
I had to break the news via text message because he refused to come home from the pub. Even after I broke the news staying out and getting wasted was far more important! My whole world came crashing down around me as reality slowly sunk in; he wasn't that family man he had made himself out to be at all. He probably didn't even want to be a dad as much as he had made out it was more about keeping me indoors, preventing me from going to the pub or socialising with my friends. 
 
I was very poorly throughout my pregnancy suffering with hyperemesis. I was hospitalised and placed on a drip as I couldn't keep anything down. If I was lucky he would visit although only to brag about how he had won a date with another woman on some stupid raffle thing down the pub. Here I am feeling at deaths door looking shocking and needing reassurance and that's what I get! I was rock bottom.
 
Later at home when I was heavily pregnant he returned from the pub bladdered one night, I was exhausted and just wanted sleep. I asked if he’d leave or sleep on the sofa that night and his response was to violently kick me in my heavily pregnant baby bump. He booted me so hard I fell out of the bed.
 
I was so taken aback and distraught that he could do that whilst I was carrying his baby but I wasn't about to argue with him. I clambered back into bed rolled over and shut my eyes. I couldn't tell anyone I couldn't face the ‘I told you so's’. When we first got together his friends would regularly warn me he liked his drink too much but I naively told myself I’d be that girl he would want to change for. 
 
New Years Eve came around and we went out with all his family to celebrate and bring in the New Year together. Hopefully things would be better this year I'd hoped...how wrong was I?! That night as we waited on the taxi arriving to take us home he began to lose his temper with me. Apparently I'd taken too long in the toilets and that meant I must have been up to something. I dreaded that taxi arriving as I knew what would happen when we got home. Sure enough as soon as we stepped through the front door the insults began pouring out, I'm a slag, a slut, who is it? What I am I up to? Etc, etc. He began to pull me around by my hair tearing out my hair extensions. I told my daughter's (and his from a previous relationship) we were play fighting and to go upstairs and get ready for bed. I carried my baby girl upstairs and made us all a bed from mattresses and duvets in the girls room. I was not going to share a bed with him that night the sight of him made me shudder. I told our girls it was an adventure and I was making a den for us.
 
Later in the year he would go on to drop our baby daughter on the floor from standing height. He then fell too, faceplanting the floor and landing smack on top of her. I was in a rage hurting me was one thing but hurting our daughter was something else. I tore him off of her and scooped her into my arms, cradling her close to my chest. I began shouting at him. I thought he must have taken drugs or something I'd never seen anyone that drunk before. I obviously riled him with what I'd said, he followed me into the kitchen, pinned me by the radiator and begin blowing kicks at me. The whole time I'm cradling our daughter in my arms protecting her from his blows as he yells a million and one insults at me.
 
It was always my fault, I learnt that I was the one who pushed him to drink, if I wasn't the way I was maybe he wouldn’t drink so much and he would be normal. When you hear something enough times you soon start to believe it. So I would never tell anyone, how could I? I was asking for it, it was because of me he did these things.
 
Another house, another drama. I would begin to find empty vodka bottles, wine bottles and cans under the sink, under our baby girls cot bed, in her wardrobe. His drinking was beyond a joke and I knew I had to end the relationship. One time I'd popped to the shop with my girls and when we returned from the corner of my eye I spotted something in the garden. I asked my oldest to take her little sister inside while I went to check. I couldn't believe my eyes when I found him in the shed surrounded by empty cans, bottles and old newspapers. I have no clue how long he had been there watching us in the house. It totally freaked me out but as always he managed to convince me it was because he loved me and missed me so much and he needed me and nobody could ever compare to me. 
 
Another home and this time I moved in just me and my girls. It was supposed to be a break for freedom. I knew this time I couldn't go back there again but agreed to be friends for our daughters sake. I began to socialise more again and build a little life for myself and my girls. He didn't like that and the name calling would continue for years to come the emotional and mental abuse constantly wearing me down. But I would always forgive him because it was me that had made him angry. I was to blame.
 
One night after I had put the girls to bed and read them a bed time story I came downstairs and it was like a flick had been switched. As soon as the girls were gone he was a different person. I was trying to make conversation and keep it light with humour but I must have said something to annoy him. Before I knew it he’d ripped his trainer off and smashed me so hard clean around the face with it. My eyes filled with tears instantly I couldn't hold them back it was the sharpest pain ever. I was in shock but I knew I needed him to leave I begged and pleaded but like always he would give me that smug grin and refuse.
 
This was the one and only time I would ring the police. Enough was enough I had my girls upstairs they had seen and heard enough in the past and I couldn’t put them through it anymore. I picked up the phone and dialled 999 but I panicked before they even answered and hung up quickly. He was too drunk to even notice let alone care! I rang for my mum and dad to come to get him to leave, they arrived quickly and he left stumbling on his way out barely able to hold himself up. The next thing I knew there was a knock on the door and the police were here. I hadn't realised they sent officers even if you hung up. I had to give a statement of what had happened and tell them my girls were upstairs. I was so scared they'd be taken away I don't even remember if I mentioned he had hit me. Or if I had just said he was drunk and verbally aggressive and I couldn't get him to leave. 
 
They advised me on what to do if it happened in the future to find a safe room if possible like the bathroom with a lock. To lock me and the girls in and call 999 someone would be with us straight away. My head was a complete mess I couldn’t figure out how my life had come to this. They wanted me to press charges and apply for an injunction but like the idiot I had become I didn't. 
 
Later he would go on to beat me for the last time. He found out I had slept with someone else (bear in mind I had technically been single for ages at this point). He completely lost it and tore the pipe off the Hoover smashing me repeatedly around the leg with it as I curled up in a ball on the sofa. I refused to cry he wasn't going to get that satisfaction from me. By the end my leg was black and blue.
 
I decided this time I was going to be strong I didn't deserve that. I was beginning to realise that actually I wasn't to blame. I was single and what I did had nothing to do with him. It was summer and I decided I wasn't going to cover up this year why should I?! So I wore shorts and dresses and my bruises were on show. This was my cry for help! My dad questioned me instantly he knew it was him but I denied it making up some daft story. Later that night though I told my dad he knew the truth and I didn't want it to happen again.
 
I asked my mum and dad to take us home that night as I had a feeling he would be waiting. I wasn't wrong as we pulled up outside my house he calmly came strutting through the back gate. My dad went mad but had just come out of hospital so he warned him if he ever hit me again he would kill him. None of us could believe what happened next, that same smug smile came across his face and he calmly responded with I didn't hit her I kicked her. Which not only was a total lie but kicking is a form of hitting anyway. He was so cool and calm about it as though he had done nothing wrong. 
 
I vowed that would be the last time he would be physically violent towards me. And it was! I broke away moving house and starting a fresh, just me and my girls.
 
That was 5 years ago this November. Although I've stuck my ground with him physically abusing me the mental and emotional abuse would continue over that whole period of time. Until December 29th 2017 when I picked our daughter up from his for the last time. He was totally bladdered and had received enough warnings if he drank while she was in his care again I would remove her.
 
I refused to have my daughter's growing up around that in that unhealthy environment any longer. Or it would become their norm and was I ‘eck going to allow them to believe that was normal. I was very lucky in that our daughter decided she didn't want any form of contact with her dad what so ever from that point onwards. 
 
She has since confided how he has stood on her hands and feet purposefully in the past, she has witnessed several arguments between him, his other daughter and his mum. She has witnessed him hit her half sister on numerous occasions. She has been begged and bribed by his family and him not to tell me when he’s been drinking or when he stole his mum's bank card. He often fell asleep when she was alone in his care and he would sometimes even play dead. My daughter's are traumatised by things they have seen and heard. They are emotionally scarred and I now deal with picking up the pieces, making up for all the times I forgave him and tried to be friends.
 
I now do everything in my power to protect them and put them first. I listen when they want to talk and I allow them to have their own opinions, thoughts and feelings and support them no matter what. 
 
It is their strength, courage and determination which has helped me break free and I truly owe my daughter's my life. I was always weak and naive I am so incredibly proud of their attitude and their knowledge that his behavior is wrong, is unacceptable, is inexcusable. 
 
I am still coming to terms with the level of abuse I suffered. I accept the physical violence and have moved forward from that. I struggle so much to overcome the mental and emotional side. It's strange to be at a friend's or have friends over and not be glued to my phone all night. Constantly having to explain myself that it was friends that there wasn't anyone else, that I was at home or at a friend's that I hadn't gone out. This was a regular occurrence for years, always having to explain myself, that I didn't fancy anyone, that I hadn't slept with this person or that person, or the other. I was still sleeping with him for years when I didn't want to but if I didn't he would always think it meant I had someone else and I didn't find him sexually attractive and therefore I must be up to something. I would get told I was being unfair, leading him on, giving him false hope. I couldn't win, I could never win. I was always wrong and he was always right. He would tell me what I was feeling all the time, I used to say to him ‘you seem to know me better than I know myself.’ He needed to find ways to control me, to make me blame myself so that I would forgive him.
 
I have just recently had a non molestation order granted in court. At the hearing he tried his best to paint himself as the victim, even trying to get me to agree to a cross undertaking. I was blessed to have support from an amazing solicitor and from NIDAS my local domestic abuse charity. In the end he eventually agreed not to oppose the order. He has now threatened me with legal advice in terms of our daughter but I’ll wait to hear from a solicitor if he gets one. I know my daughter has her own views and opinions and will talk about why she doesn’t want to see her dad or have any contact. I know she can also give a statement to the police.
 
I am trying to move forward and not allow him to put fear into me or into my daughter's. They are my reason for not giving up and the inspiration behind our new family business...
 
We began ‘Oh Beautiful Release’ in January this year (2018). Me and my daughter's sat down together and talked about our experience. I thought of a way we could turn it into a positive not only for us but hopefully to inspire and empower other families. I began sourcing suppliers, explaining our story behind our business. In March 2018 we began to launch the products and make sales. 
 
We put together gorgeous gift bags and beautiful boxes or one time treats, all of our perfect products are sourced from small businesses, each handmade using all natural ingredients. We also created our own range of affirmation cards for children, teens, adults and a special selection for looked after/adopted children. I work super hard to source the most amazing high quality (yet affordable to all) gorgeous gifts. 
 
The aim of ‘Oh Beautiful Release’ is to empower and encourage women to feel special again, to know that there is ALWAYS someone who truly cares and to make that all important bit of ME time. We also aim to encourage positive relationships, building bonds and aiding anxiety. In the future we plan to branch out even further into children's products as it is so important that they realise just how incredibly special they are. 
 
A 5% donation from each sale goes to NIDAS (Nottinghamshire Independent Domestic Abuse Services) our local domestic abuse charity. The charity offer outstanding support to families who are or have previously experienced domestic abuse. They have and continue to support us through our journey and we are eternally grateful for all that they do.  
 
We work to raise awareness of domestic abuse, sharing our story to encourage others to stand up and speak out. We share facts and figures, what's in the news and where to get help etc.
 
If we can help one family to stand up and speak out, seek help and move forward with their future we have achieved an amazing goal. If we can help even more then we are smashing it!!! 
 
Our products are available via our Facebook page or Instagram  where you can direct message us to place an order. Or email us on the email address below, website launching shortly! 
https://www.facebook.com/Oh-Beautiful-Release-1570013326421954 
www.instagram.com/ohbeautifulrelease 
ohbeautifulrelease@outlook.com 
www.ohbeautifulrelease.com 


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The BeGlad Movement is aiming to collect 100 stories of good coming out of bad and reasons to be glad by the end of 2018 to help support each other with our experiences and to raise money for the Samaritans and Action for Happiness. If you would like to donate it would be so greatly appreciated. Thank you!

https://mydonate.bt.com/fundraisers/beglad
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30 - Jessica Prime - The importance of getting smear tests done and why every woman should never miss one.

27/7/2018

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In the past, I wouldn’t have used words like ‘glad’ or ‘grateful’ to describe myself, but a lot has changed since I’ve had a baby, and I’ve found a new mindset.

I also never thought I’d be glad or grateful for smear tests; I avoided them for years thinking they were invasive, unnecessary and irrelevant to my life. I knew they did some good – but something like cervical cancer seemed a million miles away from me and my world. 
After having a baby, and some complications, I thought having a smear test would be the finale to my bad experiences, and a good way to put my mind at rest that I was healthy.

I went for the procedure, and it was very quick and routine. I left and put it to the back of my mind. That was, until the letter arrived. These types of official letters tend to fill you with dread before you’ve even opened them. Time seemed to slow down as I read the words on my results letter; my smear test had tested positive for abnormal cells. I needed to have regular procedures and doctors would need to monitor my progress.

For two years, I underwent tests, smears and painful biopsies to my cervix. It was worrying and very stressful, but during this time of stress and worry, I also found a new sense of appreciation, and empathy. I realized how important smear tests are, and I suddenly understood why so many women avoid them and are frightened.

Finally, after two years – two of the most stressful I’ve ever been through, my results came back negative. My immune system had beaten the infection that had caused the cell changes, and my body was returning to normal.

Next time your smear test is due – don’t worry, don’t dismiss it and don’t make excuses to put it off – be grateful that you have this opportunity to make sure you’re healthy. And if, like me, your results come back and give you a reason to worry, stay strong, and know that you’ll be in the best hands for being monitored and know that these doctors are going to help you fight whatever comes.

I never ever thought I’d be an advocate for smear tests, but here I am. So, ladies, please, know how important they are, and how important you are – you deserve to feel healthy too.

Book your smear test – you’ll be glad you did. 

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The BeGlad Movement is aiming to collect 100 stories of good coming out of bad and reasons to be glad by the end of 2018 to help support each other with our experiences and to raise money for the Samaritans and Action for Happiness. If you would like to donate it would be so greatly appreciated. Thank you!

https://mydonate.bt.com/fundraisers/beglad
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29 - Rob Dennison - How to survive leaving the military, a British veterans story of business & community leadership

26/7/2018

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Rob Dennison is an absolute gem of a human being. I was lucky enough to catch up with him shortly after he completed an epic bike ride raising money and creating a fantastic social community for veterans.

When Rob left his army career behind he noticed that it was harder to describe to people who he was and what he did, essentially he had lost a key part of his identity. 
When his partner noticed that he wasn't as happy as she felt he could be she confronted him about which led him to the set up his own business, 50 Cal Coffee. The ball had started rolling.

Rob notice that there was a lack of community support for veterans in the same position as him, he heard stories of how some charities were not able to help those suffering with PTSD and other military veteran issues. To raise awareness and to bring veterans together via social media he and a couple of friends set off on an epic bike ride with no proper planning and no training.

Watch the video to hear the full story, hit like and subscribe for new videos.

https://www.50calcoffeecompany.com

https://m.facebook.com/groups/2153671224675023

https://www.facebook.com/veteranshubweymouth/

https://www.facebook.com/The-Tommy-Atkins-Centre-1535377716540882/

http://who-dares-cares.com/

The BeGlad Movement is aiming to collect 100 stories of good coming out of bad and reasons to be glad by the end of 2018 to help support each other with our experiences and to raise money for the Samaritans and Action for Happiness. If you would like to donate it would be so greatly appreciated. Thank you!
 
https://mydonate.bt.com/fundraisers/beglad
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28 - Helen is glad she happened to be in the right place at the right time.

24/7/2018

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Last year a lady collapsed right in front of me and landed straight on her head.
 
She started having a seizure and her elderly mam was panicking not knowing what to do. I'd seen what had happened and ran over to help with first aid.

As she was having her seizure another person was trying not to move her and keep her on her back. 
Luckily as I have worked for many years in the care industry I was able to explain she needed to be on her side, especially as she was foaming at the mouth or she would choke otherwise.  I calmly was able to explain that we had to support her head and role her onto her side while also asking another person to call for an ambulance.  I explained to her mam what was happening and began to time the seizure whilst waiting for the ambulance to arrive.
 
Once the ambulance arrived she’d started coming out of the seizure not knowing what had happened. I told my own mam about the incident as we're quite close and turns out it was the wife of one of her clients, Mam is an insurance broker. Apparently the poor woman had a brain tumor and ended up in ICU but thankfully my training and ability to react quickly had helped keep her stable and the situation calm.
 
I only knew what I was doing because of always having been taught to do first aid and from my career as a carer for the elderly. I’ve dealt with anything from elderly people to those with learning disabilities and mental health. A few of the people I’ve looked after with learning disabilities used to have seizures so I knew how to spot one and what to do to keep them from harm until they come around.  
 
My message to EVERYBODY would be that just knowing a small amount of first aid can help save someone's life.  Don’t be afraid to help someone, if you know the basics and can support someone until help arrives and you’re able to stay calm and talk clearly to people around you as well as the person who is suffering then you could literally save a life. Everyone needs a bit of reassurance that things are going to be ok.
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27 -Jessica's story - how her mum's fight with cancer led to a major re-evaluation of her own life.

23/7/2018

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Jess was devastated when her mum told her the news that she had a rare aggressive form of T-cell Lymphoma cancer belonging to the Leukaemia category.

At the time Jess was living down in Cornwall with her husband running a Bed and Breakfast. The shock to the system of realising both her mothers and her own mortality led to Jess completely re-evaluate her life. 
She realised she was far from happy and even decide that she was not actually a very nice person either.

Jess set about transforming her life. She started to eat more healthily and lost a lot of weight, she also began to work out. On her visits to the gym she was encouraged by the people she met to think about becoming a personal trainer. However being in Cornwall was not suiting Jess either and although most would consider a divorce a bad thing Jess and her husband actually parted on good terms. A life in Cornwall running a B&B was just not for her, she felt stifled and needed more in her life, plus she wanted to be closer to her mum during those precious last months. 

Unfortunately Jessica's mum eventually lost her fight with cancer. Although Jess was obviously heartbroken and still has bad days now she is able to sooth the pain by looking for the positives. If her mum had not gotten ill then Jess probably would not have changed her own eating and lifestyle. Through getting healthy Jess overcame some serious health issues, Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome being one of them. Her healthier lifestyle led to her being able to conceive and having a baby - something that she was told as a teenager would probably never happen. 

Jess is enjoying motherhood so much it has led to her setting up her own venture - Super Mum Society, which is full of interesting videos, hint and tips to help you navigate a successful motherhood.

www.supermumsociety.com
www/instagram.com/supermumsociety
www.twitter.com/supermumsociety
www.facebook.com/supermumsociety

The BeGlad Movement is aiming to collect 100 stories of good coming out of bad and reasons to be glad by the end of 2018 to help support each other with our experiences and to raise money for the Samaritans and Action for Happiness. If you would like to donate it would be so greatly appreciated. Thank you!
 
https://mydonate.bt.com/fundraisers/beglad
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26 - Lisa Norman - Using her experiences of being in a Neonatal Unit with her premature son to help others and her new business 'Presents for Preemies.'

21/7/2018

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Lisa Norman had a major shock when going for what would be her last scan. 

She had to have her little boy 10 weeks premature by emergency c-section. He wasn't expected to survive delivery but against all odds he did. 


Lisa spent 73 day on the neonatal unit with her son and endured all the heart ache of not being able to hold him for cuddles and the worry of if he would survive. 
Lisa and her husband had only had their son home 4 days when he went into respiratory arrest, thankfully Lisa's husband was able to resuscitate him at home. 

Now their son is 20 months old but they still have to been in and out of hospitalregularly -  he is currently doing well. 

Because of her experiences Lisa set up her business 'Presents For Preemies' as family and friends really struggled with buying them gifts when her son was in the neonatal unit.  

She explains 'people just didn't know what we needed and neither did we at the time. I now use my experience to help provide thoughtful and useful gifts for premature babies and my Facebook page and Instagram to help others understand a little more about the neonatal world.'

www.presentsforpreemies.co.uk

www.instagram.com/presents_for_preemies

www.facebook.com/PresentsForPreemies

The BeGlad Movement is aiming to collect 100 stories of good coming out of bad and reasons to be glad by the end of 2018 to help support each other with our experiences and to raise money for the Samaritans and Action for Happiness. If you would like to donate it would be so greatly appreciated. Thank you!
 
https://mydonate.bt.com/fundraisers/beglad
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25 - A Miracle Baby And An Abusive Relationship

19/7/2018

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My Story - I was 20 and saw this guy on social media who caught my eye. We started talking, we went on a date and it became official.
 
Unfortunately after a month things just weren’t adding up and I became suspicious but he assured me he wanted to be in the relationship so I believed him.

After about three months I fell pregnant. It was a huge shock because when I was 18 I was told that I couldn’t conceive naturally. Because of this I felt it was fate and made the decision to keep the baby.
My family were not pleased as I was in university and they felt it wasn’t the right time because it would affect my studies. My partner did not want the baby either and told me to choose him or the baby.
 
I choose the baby.
 
Feeling very alone with my family not talking to me I was in a vulnerable position so when he begged for me back I went back.
 
And then things really began to go wrong. He began cheating on me, I would find out, he would lie, then argue and then just turn things back on me to make me feel guilty, resulting in me just accepting it.
 
At 8 months pregnant it happened again in the worse possible way. This time he was drunk, and that’s when the violence started, he ragged me around the room by my hair and pinned me over the bed pushing the footboard of the bed into my stomach. I screamed and screamed for help but no one heard and no one came. After an hour he eventually gave up and threw me onto the bed. The next day when I woke up he was back to being all apologetic. When I said I was leaving him he became verbally abusive. He told me no one would ever want me, that I was fat, I’d be a single mother, and I had nowhere to go so had to stay with him. Those words seemed to ring true at the time so I believed him and stayed.
 
Literally only a week later I was at work and on my break when I saw a voicemail had come through. It was from him, it was him having sex with someone else! Again the verbal abuse came. 3 weeks after the baby was born it happened again.
 
He cheated again and again and again. Each time the physical assaults would happen. I was punched, bitten, thrown down stairs, kicked and head butted. I even called his mum for help who said that I couldn’t leave him now as we had a child together. She was the first and only one I told about what was going on. It continued until the baby reached 2.5 when I finally broke and decided enough was enough.
 
He was taking all my money, going missing for days, taking drugs, binge drinking, cheating and I had no friends left because I had been making excuses not to see them to hide the bruises. I plucked up the courage to tell him I didn’t want to be with him anymore and wanted him to leave. At this point we were living in my home that I had bought. He refused to leave. So I upped sticks and took everything I could and left my own home.
 
I moved in with the only friend I had left. I poured my heart out to her and told her everything. She sat in shock and disbelief. I must have been a really good liar she said as she had literally had no idea what was going on. There was no way she was going to allow me to go back.
 
The abuse continued. He told my family and friends I was a prostitute, making up fake emails, he told me he was going to tell my boss I was a prostitute too. He told me he was going to pull down everything around me so that my only option was to go back to him.
 
Somehow I managed to stay strong. I blocked his number, no one believed him thank goodness and as I began to gain confidence and share my story a little more people were absolutely shocked.
 
After a while I plucked up the courage to go back to my house and change the locks. As expected he got really mad but this time he threatened suicide. Rather than let that riddle me with guilt I phoned his mum to let her deal with him. During these years I was on the maximum dose of antidepressants my doctor would give me, diazepam. It felt like I was living on a knifes edge constantly.
 
With everything that had happened I knew I could never go back to live in my own house, so I rented it out instead and then rented myself another house just a 10min walk from my friend. Now it was just me and my boy and it was the happiest I’d been in years. I continued to stay strong. He would change his number and then get my number and contact me so I would be continually having to block him.
 
My son is now 9 and I am now married with another little one. I am safe, secure and loved. A place I never imagined I would get to or be while I continued to live in that nightmare situation. My past is still around and affects me but I continue to remind myself my past is my past, I am a stronger person for it and I won’t let it shape my future.
 
My message to anyone else going through what I went through is not to allow anyone to take away your light. A relationship should bring out the best in you and a partner should help make you a better person, not trample on you. During those years I lost myself and who I really was, he took my strength away from me. If you are living a similar nightmare then please don’t feel embarrassed by the actions of others, they are the ones with a problem. Talk and share what’s going on so that other people can help you. You deserve the best life, the life you dream about. Get out and get help, there is someone better for you.
 
By sharing my story I hope I can encourage others who are in these relationships to see what they are, totally destructive and most of all I hope they can find the strength to get out of it like I did. 

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The BeGlad Movement is aiming to collect 100 stories of good coming out of bad and reasons to be glad by the end of 2018 to help support each other with our experiences and to raise money for the Samaritans and Action for Happiness. If you would like to donate it would be so greatly appreciated. Thank you!
 
https://mydonate.bt.com/fundraisers/beglad
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24 - Blythe Landry - how PTSD is not always just brought on from one big life changing event. Watch to hear how her troubled past of addiction led her to becoming a Wounded Healer.

8/7/2018

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Blythe Landry now lives in Nashville but grew up in New Orleans which was a fun place to grow up surrounded by a lot of loving people but also lot of inconsistency due to addiction in her family.

Blythe is the youngest of four children with an 11 year age gap between herself and the second to youngest child in the family so she grew up as the youngest but also almost like an only child which made her feel different and like she didn’t really fit in.
There were a lot of emotional challenges of inconsistency and people coming and going, with siblings moving out and back in depending on their circumstances.  Blythe developed and eating disorder when she was young. Growing up in a very religious family in the south, Blythe remembers praying not to be gay. She wondered whether she could erase away that part of herself by controlling her food and unfortunately became anorexic.

Aged 22 Blythe moved to Chicago thinking she would move away from what she thought were her problems she explains that ‘when you age you begin to realise that your problems simply move with you if you don’t deal with them and then you tend to attract more of the same, or even more of worse of the same. It’s like the universe gives us repeated chances to get things right and then it just gets louder and louder.’

Blythe found what she thought was love while living in a commune in Chicago. The relationship was a mutually unhealthy one though as Blythe struggled with her own demons he struggled with being an alcoholic. The relationship went on for far too long but when Blythe finally got out of the relationship she realised that he was not her only problem and now the only person she had left to face was herself.

Having always been a seeker of personal development and spiritual growth Blythe went into therapy, she had overcome the anorexia and was good at forming friendships but not romantic relationships. Through the process of therapy she realised she was in fact actually gay but as soon as her life started getting better she started drinking every day. It soon became clear that one of Blythes addictions was in fact chaos and crisis. She began to realise that everything she had judged or run from she was turning into.

Blyth makes the point that you don’t have to have been through anything particularly dramatic but there can be a build up of a lot of little things that can affect your life as an adult when you go out into the world and try to form connections. A lot of small things which can accumulate and trip you up if you don’t face them.

She similes as she describes herself as ‘a mentally ill, gay addict who is thriving! Your story does not have to be limited by your challenges and that you do have choices!

Blythe now works with people who are suffering from trauma, grief and addictions.

www.blythelandry.com
www.blythespiritcounseling.com/
Follow blythe on Instagram @blythlandrycoach
The BeGlad Movement is aiming to collect 100 stories of good coming out of bad and reasons to be glad by the end of 2018 to help support each other with our experiences and to raise money for the Samaritans and Action for Happiness. If you would like to donate it would be so greatly appreciated. Thank you!
 
https://mydonate.bt.com/fundraisers/beglad
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23 - Irene Afful - from a fear of the police having grown up during the Toxteth riots to becoming Merseysides first black female inspector for Merseyside.

6/7/2018

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Irene Afful is such an inspirational woman.  

Irene grew up in Toxteth, in inner city Liverpool after her parents unfortunately had to part ways. 

At the time there was a lot of tension in the area due to deprivation and racial abuse which ultimately accumulated in the riots of 1981. Irene witnesses all of this and even suffered racial abuse from the police herself while she was simply playing with her friends. 
Due to her parents splitting up Irene was determined to stand on her own two feet and provide for herself.  She took a job at the local council and worked her way up to becoming a supervisor in the child protection department. 

It was while working in this department that she should become friends with two police men.  They saw the potential in Irene through the work she was already doing and suggested she would make a good police officer. Irene had no intention whatsoever especially because of her experiences as a child.  

After a lot of banter and persuasion they turned up with an application form one day and so Irene filled it in not expecting to ever get in! To her surprise she did! 

Being a career driven woman Irene soon worked her way up the ranks and despite the efforts of some to stop her she went on to become the first black female inspector for Merseyside.  

Unwittingly to begin Irene was on a journey to change the culture from within.  Using her background story and newfound rank and authority within the force Irene was able to spearhead the effort to recruit a more diverse and multicultural police force.

She is now brining everything she has learnt to the business arena through coaching, mentoring and consultancy. 

Irene can help you reach your full potential and help your business be a more inclusive and productive environment. 

Diversity works, together we are stronger. 
www.ametrine-enterprise-solutions.co.uk

The BeGlad Movement is aiming to collect 100 stories of good coming out of bad and reasons to be glad by the end of 2018 to help support each other with our experiences and to raise money for the Samaritans and Action for Happiness. If you would like to donate it would be so greatly appreciated. Thank you!
 
https://mydonate.bt.com/fundraisers/beglad
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