2 - Leaving a destructive relationship to find true friendships and support.

​The following story of good coming out of bad is from a very kind soul who would like to remain anonymous. I'd like to thank her for sharing this with us, I hope it will help someone who may also be suffering through a destructive relationship right now.

So I always think my life is a bit like a yo-yo, completely up and down all the time!

At first when things weren’t going well for me or I was feeling particularly low in mood it was really tough. Sometimes you can never see the “light at the end of the tunnel” so to speak. Things still don’t always go to plan and my mood still hits crippling lows sometimes but my mind set has now changed; I know things will go up again and I just need to wait for things to get better – and they always do!

I can remember a particular time when things were really tough. I was in an unhealthy relationship which left me isolated and I was left wondering whether I would even finish my degree.

Every time I tried to improve my situation something else always reared its ugly head to remind me how brutal life could be. I wish I could explain what it was that made me wake up one day and decide “RIGHT!! Today I am walking away from this relationship!!!” Despite knowing for years that this relationship was breaking me as a person, I could never leave; I tried a few times, but always came back. One day, I woke up and it was different I was leaving and I knew it was for good.

Afterwards, I had a series of lollipop moments, moments when someone said something or did something that fundamentally made my life better. These ranged from the simplest of kind words, (which, to be honest, those people have probably forgotten they even said, but they meant a lot to me in the moment) to giving me a place to live! Some of these people barely knew me yet showed such kindness that it reminded me there is still good in the world.

The friend that gave me a place to live also introduced me to my husband to be!! They also reassured me back then that positives can come from negatives. If I had not stayed in that relationship so long, I would probably have moved back in with family, meaning I wouldn’t have ended up at that particular friends house and that I would possibly never have met my soon to be husband. The trauma helped me find truly loyal and rewarding friendships and through their love and support I was also able to finish my degree.

I have worked so hard to rebuild my life. Having finished my degree I will be graduating as a doctor in July. If you had asked me if this is where I saw myself 7 years ago I would have laughed at you. Life Is still tough; I have mornings where I wake up and feel really low and don’t know why; I try to remind myself of all the good things I have going for me in life and sometimes this works, sometimes it doesn’t. If it doesn’t, I know it is temporary, whereas the actions I take when I am low tend to be permanent.
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People showing kindness to me during this dark time has left a lasting impression and sometimes doing something as simple as smiling at someone when you walk down the street, to taking the time to talk to a stranger can leave a positive lasting impression.